More Musings on "Life and Death"

 

It kept on snowing on and off from Monday night until this morning, when we had a glimpse of sun and blue sky again for a change. On Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed in. Today I managed a short walk after lunch. Byt then the sun had already gone into hiding again, but at least the pavements and walk paths had meanwhile been ploughed and sanded. It still felt rather cold though, so I was not tempted to go very far - just took a short turn around the old cemetery, which now again looks pretty much like it did in January.

Following the sad news towards the end of January about the death of my blog/pen-friend John in England, February has started out with more news of similar kind. First I learned through FB that American friends, living in Asia since many years, lost a son (in his early twenties) in a tragic motorcycle accident in the US. (For now, because of that, the family are all gathered over there.) (They're not bloggers, so no one reading this is likely to know them.) I met the dad in Sweden way back in the mid 1980s (not yet married then) and we've somehow managed to stay in touch - in later years via FB. So I've also seen photos of their sons growing up. Must be such a chock to unexpectedly lose a child like that, just at the beginning of his adult years...

Then on top of that (for me), a dear friend in Sweden (but not in the same city), who has been fighting cancer for a couple of years now, let her friends on FB know the other day that she'd just been told that (unless there is a miracle) she won't be getting well again. She's several years younger than me, so that too feels really tragic and "hard to grasp". It's been a a long time now since we last met in person, but we've been friends since the 1970s, when we both did live in the same city for a while. So she's yet another friend with whom in later years it's mostly thanks to FB that we're still keeping up to date with each other's lives. 

So frequent reminders lately that Life is Short, and Unpredictable. But, on the other hand -  also reminders of deep thankfulness for these friends, and having been able to stay in touch with them throughout all these years, in spite of the physical distance. (In itself, really rather "against the odds"...)

 

Life & Death

 

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of a close friend of mine, one year ago. And today I received the news that a dear friend in another country (a 'penfriend' if you will) had just passed away. Both of them were on my mind during my walk around the old cemetery today (stirring up memories). I stopped for a while at this anonymous grave with the thin layer of ice because it struck me as a good illustration of the fragility of life. There will probably always be some 'double sadness' connected with the last few days of January for me from now on. But at the same time, that sadness is also mixed with much to be thankful for, and worth remembering...

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift

Friends Forever (?)

 

The other day I listened to a philosophical talkshow on Swedish Radio, discussing what to do with social media accounts after someone dies. The topic caught my interest, as I had recently had reason to wonder about that myself. 

Last year, an old childhood friend of mine died. Not a very close friend; but in later years we were also friends on Facebook. Her daughter (whom I never met) then used her mum's Facebook account to inform friends of her death and funeral. That I felt was a good idea, as I for one (living in a different city and not in touch with any other mutual old friends) probably wouldn't have heard of it otherwise, until long afterwards. 

However, just recently (some eight months or so later) I suddenly also got FB notices of greetings left for my deceased friend on her (still open) Facebook wall by friends/family on her birthday. I have to confess that felt a bit weird. ("Happy birthday" - "Thinking of you" - "Miss you") Looking at my list of friends on FB, she is also still there just as when she was still alive. I suppose I can change my own settings - but then I found myself hesitating wondering if I should completely "unfriend" her?? ... Hm, in a way I guess I understand if it's even harder for the next of kin to decide!

The radio program did not really give any answers as to a 'right' or 'wrong' way to deal with these things either; they just stated the fact that the internet has not only changed our lives, but also how we deal with death - and our memories of our dear departed ones. We used to think of people as leaving Earth and going to Heaven... Now, there is also - apparently - the possibility to just stay in the Cloud... (Pretty much like the rest of us!)

One of my own thoughts while listening was that Facebook (and similar) may be more problematic than a blog; because of the possibility often left open on FB for friends to post things to someone's "wall" as well as just commenting. With a blog, perhaps it feels more natural to just leave it? (But I've also seen examples of a wife or husband taking over and continuing.)

One speculation in the radio program was that in the future, the providers of the various internet services might set a time limit for how long accounts belonging to dead people will be stored in the Cloud  - as even digital data does actually require storage space.

Thoughts...???

(I'm thinking I should probably do some more thinking, and write some of my own thoughts on things like this down while I'm still capable of thinking...)

BTT: Sequel

Booking Through Thursday question from Ted  (via Deb):

Which non-series book would you most like to read the sequel to?
Do you have any wishes for what might happen in it?

This is one of those questions that I think maybe I found it easier to answer when I was young. I was probably more prone back then to rewrite endings in my head if I did not like the one given. Now I usually don’t speculate that much unless perhaps when I know there is to be a sequel. But the only ‘serious’ (not all that serious) speculations of that kind that I’ve been involved in was probably while waiting for the end to the Harry Potter story.

Back in my early teens I know I wished for a  sequel/ different ending to the Diary of Anne Frank, but at the same time well aware that since Anne really died in concentration camp, this was not going to happen.

That’s probably also the kind of story that may still make me wish for different endings or impossible sequels. Come to think of it, that’s what I did between the last Harry Potter books as well: Trying to find ways to bring back characters who had been killed! (A wish, by the way, that the author also dealt with in those books, but in a different way.)

As far as I can recall, I don’t think I ever yet tried to read any of those fake sequels that sometimes pop up, like one author writing a sequel to someone else’s original story.