We had another sunny September weekend - and probably a last farewell to what has felt like an unusually prolonged summer - starting already at the beginning of May, and lasting almost through September.
Now it seems autumn has started to take over, though. Raining today; and all at once, it feels a lot more autumn-like...
On my Sunday walk across the old cemetery, I happened to meet an older woman with a rollator walker (with a seat). She stopped and asked me the time, saying she had forgotten her watch at home. As I had remembered mine, I could oblige. (Besides, I also had my mobile/cell phone.)
However, after that she kept on talking... And as I was in no hurry, I remained to listen for a while. In the course of the conversation I learned that she was a widow since some years back, still living on her own in a flat somewhere nearby, spending a lot of time just waiting for home care staff (who never seemed to come on time), had applied for a place at some assisted living or nursing home and had been waiting a long time for that - but had also recently turned down an offer of such a place in a part of town with which she wasn't familiar, as she really wanted to be in the town centre. She had used to go and have lunch at a restaurant at some such place there sometimes; but was no longer able to walk there, as it was too far away for her now. She missed her husband; and all her old friends were gone (dead) too. She had a twin sister (alive but living somewhere else, was my impression) but did not get along with her (waste-of-space) brother-in-law, and never had... One thing upon another; and on the whole she came across as rather tired of life. (In spite of which, she had got herself out for a walk, all by herself, though, and did also seem to have spark enough to get upset about things.) As for me, she kept referring to me as "young"... Not really feeling all that young myself any more (at 69), I did finally ask her straight out how old she was, and it turned out she was 92 (born 1932). I.e. of the same generation as my parents, born 30/31, and gone since 15 vs 13 years now. So of course "entitled" to feel old and tired... and one might think that at that age just wanting to move to a care home of some kind should really be reason enough, But I do know that there are not nearly enough such places, and thus also queues... I do hope she won't have to wait much longer for a place somewhere where she'll feel less lonely.
(For my own part, I came away from that meeting feeling unusually young and fit...)
15 comments:
It was so kind of you to stay and talk with her, she must be horribly lonely!! She seems very fit for being so old! The flowers are gorgeous! Who knew these colors would work together? And the large stunning orange ones, maybe Cone Flowers. It is really looking wonderful there. The Old Farmer's Almanac says we will have a very warm fall.
Monica, so much of what your unexpected conversation covered reminds me of my dear former neighbour, who died just after Easter this year, in her early nineties, and of my mother-in-law who turned 90 this past March and still lives in her own place (although needing assistance).
Being 56 myself, I am neither really young nor really old yet, but somewhere in between. Maybe that enables me to relate to several age groups around me - sometimes I feel not much different from when I was a LOT younger, while I understand many of the issues elderly people are facing.
Two weeks ago, we had a Saturday of 30C and plenty of sun, followed by a Sunday of rain and much cooler temperatures. That felt like instant autumn, too, even though we had this last farewell to summer last week. Equinox is past, and it‘ll be Christmas Eve to the day three months from now…
The flowers are amazing - you really are having a colourful late burst of summer!
I can sympathise with the old lady, and it was very kind of you to stop to talk to her. Most of my long-term friends have returned to their homelands to be looked after by their families and although we keep in touch by email, it's not the same as the get-togethers over coffee or a meal, or a pleasant walk. Sadly I have also lost several friends living here too, to advancing years, but there are still one or two of us "soldiering" (or should that be plodding?) on.
I can relate to her and so can bob, she is only 12 years past me and 4 years older than bob. glad you let her ramble, I am rambling now and try to remember that strangers I meet don't need to know my entire list of old age stuff.. it comes with seeing the end of life is near and knowing it. I hope she gets a place to stay, it will be less lonely.
Ginny, old enough myself by now to not find it all that difficult to imagine myself in a similar problematic situation some time in the future...
Meike, our concept of time and age probably keeps changing throughout life. For my own part I had to go into early retirement on a disability pension before I was 50 - and in many ways I'm still better off now than I was when I was your age (but also very different from what I might have guessed when I was younger). That in turn makes me realise how hard it is to predict how I'll feel if I should happen to make it to 90+ (which is perhaps not very likely - but who knows!)
Any thoughts yourself of returning to England, Carol? or has where you live now become truly "home" by now?
Sandra, I did think of you in my contemplations afterwards... As you have been writing about "talking to strangers" at Walmart etc. However, my impression was that the old lady I met had probably also not kept up with modern technology the way that we have (or all of our blogging friends). And that probably does make one feel even more "left out of the loop" these days. (I notice it with certain friends of my own age as well.)
Well done, Monica. You made her day.
Thanks Tasker. I didn't feel I was able to say anything really helpful, though! (But she also probably didn't really expect that...)
Catching up on blogs today. So glad I came across this post and read of your kindness top that old lady. I volunteer at our local hospital once a week and the number of old folk who are desperately lonely is very sad.
Oh, and the colours are beautiful.
Thanks Pauline. I guess the 'curse' of getting to live to be very old is that you keep losing most of your old friends along the way...
No, Monica, no intention of returning to the UK now - only two cousins left there and they have their own lives to lead. Friends who still go back to visit family say things have changed too much and not for the better. I'm settled here - and the weather is most certainly a great improvement!
By the way "The Voyage of the Dawn Trader" was on TV yesterday afternoon, shown twice, but I still managed to miss it!
It's been a while since I watched the film version myself, Carol!
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