Waiting for Magic

I’m still waiting to be connected to the new fibre optic broadband. 1st April turned out to be joke… Well. Not happening, anyway! Since the website still said nothing different today, I did give it a try; but no success. I thought maybe I needed to change some settings or something … But when I phoned my new internet provider, they said the reason it wasnt’ working yet was that the cable has not yet been connected for this area. They hadn’t got any new date yet either. (They’ve now promised to call me when it should be up and running.) Well – as long as I’m not cut off from the old one, I’ve no reason for serious complaints, I suppose…

Waiting…. (new router)

In the meantime, I’m still adjusting to my new chair.

What’s not included in the Manual is the Complete Home Makeover that a Rolls Royce kind of Chair requires:

‘Exuse me,’ it complains, ‘but this carpet that you have here is really not at all what I was designed for. Who ever heard of a rag rug on an office floor?! I can’t get around on this knobbly old thing without getting stuck half the time! Besides, how long have you had it, anyway?! Looks like it’s been through a lot. I’m almost embarrassed to be seen with it!’

I made a quick calculation and had to admit that after 37 years of service, the blue rug rag was probably due for retirement.

So while my brother was here for Easter, we made a little detour to a carpet store.

 

The Chair was pleased when it was introduced to the new Carpet. ‘Just my shade of red!’ it exclaimed. ‘And so smooth… We´ll get along splendidly, I think.’

And so they did. The next day, in the daylight, they ganged up on me and made hints about the curtains.

‘I’m not saying anything about the brownish red,’ said the Chair. ‘That’s almost the right hue. But the other colours… They may have been all right with the old rag rug perhaps, but with the new carpet… It all gets a bit much, don’t you think?’
‘I absolutely agree,’ said the Carpet. ‘There’s way too much green, and they’re too dark, and the pattern kind of clashes with mine. You want something lighter… Also matching my colours, of course – but not so much as to take over!’

So there was nothing for it but take a walk into town to the department store.

‘Hey,’ the Carpet shouted after me as I left. ‘See if they’ve got any with birds on them!’

Fortunately they did.

The curtains were too long and had to be shortened a bit, but the Chair and the Carpet kept cheering me on while I did the job. When I finally got them up, we were all happy – for a little while. Until the Curtains noticed the ironing board cover…

‘Really!’ said the Curtains. ‘That’s one very dominating ironing board cover, isn’t it? Steals all the attention…’
’But it’s not all that long since I bought it,’ I protested. ‘The old one was all worn out, you wouldn’t have liked that either…’
’But those colours… what were you thinking?’ said the Curtains. ‘Big blobs in weird colours on black?!’
’There wasn’t much to choose from!’ I defended myself. ‘And it almost matched the old curtains…’
’Well, we’re not happy with it!’ said the New Curtains, curling up in extra wrinkles. ‘We really don’t need the competition. You’d better get something more neutral.’

‘All right, all right…’ said I. ‘I’ll see what I can find. Anything else when I’m off to the stores again anyway?’
’Yes,’ said the Chair. ‘Do get another one of those sheepskin pads for me, will you? Surely you want one for the neckrest as well as for the armrests? I can’t believe you didn’t think of it at once. You know by now that when I get cold, you do too…’
’You’ve got a point,’ said I.

 
New ironing board cover in white and grey.

Warming sheep skin pads for the chair.

PS. While in the department store, my cellphone beeped. It was my coffee table calling me from the living room, requesting a new table runner…