Unusual cloud formation seen from my windows around sunset last night. Or it was really more like someone had just managed to rip a peephole in the otherwise rather compact rain clouds...
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| AI generated image (by me) |
Coming back home from a short afternoon walk today (chilly, windy, and rain clouds threatning to burst at any moment), just outside my building I ran into a neighbour living on the floor below me - not directly under, but on the other side of the landing. We don't really "know" each other but we're both senior women and the only ones with Swedish surnames in our entrance. (Two out of six flats. When I first moved in here 16 years ago, I remember the ratio being the reverse - i.e. four Swedish names, two foreign.) And we have exchanged a few words now and then before.
A week or so ago when I also happened to bump into her, she asked me if I was much disturbed by the neighbours in the flat above hers, i.e. partly wall-to-wall and across the landing from me. I answered no, I hardly ever hear anything at all from there. She said she's disturbed daily by their child/ren running back and forth over her head at bedtime. I was surprised to hear this, as my own impression so far has been that the inhabitant of that flat over the past year or two must be a very quiet single man (whom I've only seen once or twice going in or out, plus a few times on his balcony). I've never seen him with a child, or with anyone else at all - and nothing to indicate there is a child living in that flat at all!
Today, She stopped me to say "Sorry, perhaps you heard me yelling the other day, that was at [another neighbour]" I failed to grasp who, but it must be someone wall-to-wall with her to the other side of her flat, in the next entrance. I said, no, I had not heard that either!
She went on to say that those neighbours are driving her crazy by taking showers and noisily yanking faucets in the middle of the night (and since she complained, it's only got worse). I do know that I too hear most from wall-to-wall neighbours (next entrance), as we share kitchen/bathroom/living room/balcony walls. I said so to the neighbour I was talking to now. She was obviously very upset though and kept ranting on for quite a while. She also said she has now decided to move away from here as soon as she can. I listened and tried to be sympathetic, but could not back up her current complaints. She also started talking about Muslims in general (there are a lot of those among our neighbours) but then I did feel obliged to say I really think one can't generalize like that. (And she did agree that a family living on the top floor above us has never given much cause for complaints.)
It did become obvious during our conversation that besides our experiences differing, the two of us also have different personalities and temper (we both saw and acknowledged that). She obviously notices a lot about her neighbours and at the same time has a temper that flares easily, so does not hesitate to immediately react and "get involved" and discuss and complain etc... I on the other hand have little clue about who's who among my neighbours and where they come from etc, even if I nod and say hello when I meet people going in or out etc. But I also usually tend to "think before I act"...
I do know that long-term disturbances from neighbours can drive one half crazy, though. To assure my complaining neighbour now that I did feel sympathy even if I do not hear the same things she does, I told her I had some experiences of similar kind where I lived before. (By then I was already planning to move for other reasons, though.)
Well, my first thought is that if you are going to live in a place like yours, then you need to be prepared for noise from the neighbors. It is inevitable. Also, she runs the risk of complaining too much to the wrong kind of person, who could seek revenge. We lived in apartments for 13 years, and could hear mostly everything. It just comes with the territory. I hope she doesn't move into a similar place, because she could face the same thing. She needs a nice quiet place out in the country somewhere!
ReplyDeleteGinny, I'm thinking the same about the risk of complaining sometimes just making things worse. As I also told this neighbour when we talked, for my own part, living where we do, I prefer going through the housing company's office if there is a recurring problem, as they know what counts as a "legitimate" complaint or not.
DeleteYou and your AI pal did a great job with this graphic. I really like it a lot.. There are some people who are angry at the world and can't stand anyone, especially as they age.. she sounds like it might be her not them and i would think you would know is the children are there and noisy.. If it were me I would keep my eyes open and if she is in sight quickly find another way to walk to keep from talking to her.. I lived in apartments for 2 years and did not care for it at all because i have ultra hearing and hear everything. even music bothers me, apartments are not for me. she might be like that. I left as soon as I could and found a nice quiet room and a bath off the back porch of an older lady who rented it to me.. we were both happy
ReplyDeleteSandra, she claimed to have spoken to our mutual neighbour and he acknowledged the problem "as such" (running child). I'm just puzzled since I've never neither seen that child myself! But there are children on the top floor above, so I don't really pay much attention to "normal" daytime noise from people coming or going on the stairs. All I know for sure is that I've not felt disturbed from whoever lives across the landing from me now. (I also know noise travels differently through different walls vs ceilings though, so my neighbour living under them may well hear things I don't.)
Deleteoh dear, I know that noisy neighbours can be very frustrating. In one property we lived in, the house next door was an Air B n B and each family that rented it over the year we were there had no idea how to be considerate of the neighbours around them, I was happy to move.
ReplyDeleteAmy I can imagine having an airbnb as neighbour being particularly annoying.
DeleteThe AI picture is weird when you look at it closely; I can't work out what some of the people are supposed to be doing, and it is strange how even the middle walls have windows, and how the middle on the ground floor seems to be double... still, it is fascinating to look at, like a big dolls house.
ReplyDeleteThe house I've been living in for just over 20 years now was built in 1953, at a time when prioritiy was on creating lots of living space for many people, quickly and cheaply, after the end of WWII brought in many refugees from what used to be the remote eastern parts of Germany but had become parts of Poland and Czechoslovakia. Therefore, it is hardly surprising that in this building, one can hear very clearly if the neighbours are at home or not. I am used to it but it still bothers me, especially when people can't seem to be able to close a door by its handle but slam it shut instead. Such banging and clanging often wakes me up.
On the top of our three storeys, a family with two children (3 and 7) has moved in not long ago. The children run around quite a lot, and the 3-year-old is very vocal in her likes and dislikes, they way 3-year-olds usually are :-) Still, they are a nice family and try to get the kids to bed at regular times, so nights are mostly quiet.
My downstairs neighbours are quiet people, but heavy smokers. They often sit out on their patio right beneath my living room windows, and I don't need to hear them to know they are there...!
A quiet house on my own is completely out of the question - unaffordable in my part of the world.
Meike, I agree about the AI picture not holding up to closer inspection :) Looking into an apartment building as if it were a dolls house was in my instructions though and out of the four images I got I chose this one as it also has the girl looking into it. (She too on closer inspection kind of has an extra arm, but never mind...)
DeleteGoodness! Now that you‘ve said it, I can of course see the extra arm…! Just looked at the house before, and not really at the girl.
DeleteThe AI apartment block is interesting - and a little confusing!
ReplyDeleteThe only time I have ever had problems with noisy neighbours was in the first house my husband and I bought as newly weds. It was a brand new semi-detached with beautiful views over the counrtyside, but the walls were thin. Fortunately we weren't there too often - husband was away in Sweden at least two weeks out of four and I went back to stay in peaceful surroundings with my parents. When we were living at the house we had to listen to our neighbours constant screaming arguments (our living rooms adjoined), and their baby crying for hours on end. It wasn't too long before we decided to move on and fortunately the house sold before it was put on the market. We vowed that we would never again live in a semi-detached property. Now I have garden all round me and the neighbours are mostly more mature and lead quiet lives. The noisiest things around are the dogs - mine being one of the worst offenders every time she sees a cat!
Carol, I agree about the image (cf my reply to Meike). As for dogs, my own main noise complaints in later years has been another neighbour's dog (howling when left alone, which still seems to periodically happen all to often)...
DeleteSince I left home I have only twice in the early days had neighbours sharing the other half of a 'semi' - a semi-detached house with two houses side by side in one building. They were no problem and I hope we were no problem to them. We got on very well. Since 1976 I've lived in two houses both detached and rural. I'm not sure how I would cope without being surrounded by my garden.
ReplyDeleteGraham, for my own part I'd have difficulties coping with a house and garden, and at this point in life I'm really quite content (most of the time!) to live where I do now (since 16 years). There are certainly a lot worse places. People do tend to move in and out again a lot in buildings like this, though, which means one never quite knows when circumstances might change. (Out of the six flats in my entrance I know I'm certainly the one who has lived here the longest now.)
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