"Saknar dig" = Miss you |
Today, my thoughts go to a friend of mine who died two years ago - 28 January, 2023 - two weeks before her 70th birthday.
Her name was Gunilla, and she and I first met in the autumn of 1975, when we were both in our early twenties. I had just moved to Karlstad to attend secretarial college. I don't remember now if G was still studying as well, or already working as a preschool teacher. Anyway, we met through a mutual friend, a church situated only a few minutes walk from where I lived the first year, and a youth gospel choir in that church. I've never been a great singer; but that choir was really more about fellowship than perfection; and it was a great way to quickly make new friends in a new town. Some of them I'm still in touch with (more or less) 50 years later.
I ended up living in Karlstad for 10½ years; and G remained one of my best friends throughout those years and beyond.
In 2011 I summed her up like this in a blog post, in connection with a visit from her and her husband: "Her whole life she has been under the pressure of a complicated set of health issues --- But she’s one of the most inspiring and positive people I know; always making the best out of every situation. She’s definitely a friend who has made a lasting and colourful imprint on my life."
G + husband in 2011 |
Even from birth, G's body did not produce its own cortisol. She had serious allergies and asthma, and as a side effect of medication, she stopped growing when was around 8-9 years old or so. Later in life she also got problems with osteoporosis, and got increasingly dependent on her wheelchair.
When I got to know her in the mid 1970s, though, she lived on her own in a flat on the 1st floor (not ground floor), drove her own car (automatic transmission), and worked as a pre-school teacher, and later director.
In 1986 I moved to Borås. Not very long after that, G got married. We still kept in touch frequently, writing long letters to each other. We also visited each other now and then. Gradually, times came for both of us when for various health reasons we met less frequently, and even long letters eventually became a thing of the past. But we continued to stay in touch.
The last years of her life, besides her husband she also depended on a daytime personal assistant (whom I never met).
The last time we met was in the summer of 2022 - about six months before she died. That summer my brother (also living in Karlstad) drove down here and brought me back up there to stay with him for a week or so. One day I set aside for meeting with G + husband. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were able to have lunch at a restaurant close to where they lived, and sit outside. I also went back home with them for a while afterwards.
I kind of sensed then that it might be the last time we met (in this earthly life, anyway). The last time I spoke to her on the phone was some time around Christmas that year. And at the end of January, I got a message from her husband that she had passed away (in hospital).
I'm thankful to have our sunny last meeting to look back on.
I have no photo of the two of us together from the early years, but below is one from 1995 (celebrating my 40th birthday), combined with one from that last meeting in 2022.
Health is so important!
ReplyDeleteRo, of course health is important - but as my friend demostrated again and again during her life, even more important may be the ability to cope with life (and still enjoy it) even when health fails...
DeleteShe was truly unbelievable! To be able to do all of this with the health issues she had. You have written a wonderful tribute to this amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ginny. And this was really only a very brief summary...
DeleteThat's a lovely tribute to your friend. She sounds to have made the most of life despite her health issues.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenny. She certainly did that.
DeleteWhat a strong, courageous woman your friend must have been! She seems not to have been daunted by her health issues, but did what many young women do - studied, worked, drove a car, lived on her own, met a man she fell in love with and married him.
ReplyDeleteI can see how her friendship was inspirational, and I am glad you had that last visit with her.
Thanks Meike. She was indeed an inspiration in many ways throughout her life.
DeleteShe was an inspirational friend to you and many others, I imagine. Some people have positivity in every cell of their body .
ReplyDeleteJanice, of course with all her health problems she had times of feeling down as well. But she also always kept thinking of others, and not just herself.
DeleteI am sure she was a positive influence to all she met. It hard and rare for someone with these type life long health issues to be so positive. she and you were blessed to have a lifelong friendship. I am happy for her she could have a carreer and husband and for both of you that you had friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandra. She did have to quit working long before normal retirement age, but then so did I (health related for both of us but different problems).
DeleteWhat a wonderful tribute to a very dear friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks Carol.
DeleteGiven the hand that life and nature dealt her, Gunilla was a real battler and sought to make the most of things. It is so good that you got to see her again only a few months before she died. Her husband must also be a remarkable person.
ReplyDeleteHe is, Neil. They met outside our circle of mutual friends and weren't officially a couple yet when I moved away, so I didn't actually meet him until shortly before they got married the year after that. But time proved them to be a good match for each other. They visited me together many times after that, and I also stayed with them on some of my visits in K-d. He has even sent me birthday greetings after G passed away (in the past it was of course always she who did), something I had not expected. (He's not using FB, so not getting automatic reminders of that kind!)
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