Sunday 4 September 2022

Weekend Reflections

 

Photo from my walk today

 It's been a weekend for reflections, in more than one sense of the word.

On Saturday, I did something I haven't done in a long time. Definitely not since the pandemic; but not for quite a while before that either. I revisited a church where I used to be active back in the 90s, but over the past twenty years have only visited very occasionally. Initially this was related only to my own health issues; but with time, there is also an added factor of inevitably running into far too many people (at the same time) that I used to know, but have lost touch with; and all the questions and suggestions that often follow on such encounters (however well-intended). So in later years, when (now and then) I've wanted to attend a church service, I've usually gone to another church, where I rarely run into more than one or two people I know.

What made me go this time was that one friend (L) with whom I have kept in touch over the years - in spite of, or perhaps even thanks to, her living abroad - happened to be in town for a visit, and was going to lead a church seminar for a couple of hours on Saturday morning, about the work she and her husband are involved with in Asia. Another friend (E) texted me to say that if I wanted to come, she could give me a lift, and she didn't think there would be a whole lot of people there. So I thought well, perhaps it's as good a time as any to test my 'fears' against reality. And it probably was - even if, as a socializing experiment, I think I still have to declare the outcome kind of ambiguous.

It was nice to meet L in person though, and listen to her talk about her work 'live' and a bit more in detail. There probably weren't more than a dozen or so people there altogether (fewer than I expected). Two more (besides E and L) were friends I've also stayed in touch with on Facebook. (One of them L's father-in-law; I also used to be friends with his wife, who sadly passed away with cancer some years ago.) Most of the rest were new faces to me. One of those was the new pastor, who seemed rather puzzled to find an unknown 'stray sheep' wandering in at this kind of gathering. During the coffee/tea break, he did his best to fill the shoes of absent old friends (so to speak) - he even managed to fit in a suggestion that perhaps I'd like to join a group of some kind...  Just doing his shepherding job of course (and he wasn't really intrusive) but in my own head I made note that I really do still find it mentally exhausting to try and sum up my life to strangers in just a few sentences... (Not getting easier with the years ticking on - even if I suppose blogging keeps giving me a bit of practice of sorts. But in the written form I feel more in control!)

Meanwhile, sitting still on a hard chair without arm-rests for the better part of two hours is also definitely still not a good thing for my body. After I got back home, I spent most of the afternoon lying down, plus in need of more painkillers than normally. (And have tried to compensate with a very lazy and "slow" day today...) 

That's not to say I regret going. L's lecture was about feeling out of place vs belonging, and freedom. Her job includes 'pastoral care' and her approach is down-to-earth as much as spiritual. One exercise she had prepared for us to try was that she had spread out a lot of very different photos on a table, and asked each of us to pick one that to us seemed to represent "freedom", and then (no obligation, but everyone did) share our thoughts. (In general, I have no particular difficulty with that kind of sharing.) Interestingly (to myself) I found myself without much hesitation picking up an image of a keyboard and computer screen. My motivation (and also really what this whole post is leading up to):  To me it (the internet) represents "freedom from time and space", as in making it possible to have meaningful communication with other people, even across the world - without having to be in the same room, or even in the same time zone! (And of course, since the corona virus, this has become even more important for a lot more people.)

In this context, just pointing to L as an example was enough (to me she is "the Queen of Facebook" - no one else I know uses it to the extent she does, to keep in touch with people all over the world, and to share both everyday trivial things and more profound thoughts). But of course in my mind I was also thinking of "Blogland", and how much that has come to mean to me over the 13 years gone by since I created my first blog (2009). It's still amazing to me that I'm still in touch with several people I got to know very early on in this sphere of the internet (and others a bit later), even though we never (yet) met 'in person'.

So thanks for "being here"! :-)


 

15 comments:

  1. I think I would've enjoyed listening to that sermon and I think we can all relate to feeling out of place sometimes or all of the time.

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    1. Amy, she did lift a lot of things that we probably all feel from time to time!

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  2. Visiting your blog has always een a special joy to me. I am so sorry the visit caused you pain! I know all about not being able to sit in the right kind of chair!!

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    1. Thanks Ginny. I know you know a bit about it! ♥

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  3. I am happy for you that you attended the talk at church. Perhaps you could bring a comfy chair cushion for further visits, to avoid painful sitting. I love being your blog and pen friend, across the miles.

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    1. Terra, sorry, no offense... but I'm afraid that's one example of the kind of advice one might want to think twice about before suggesting to someone with chronic problems (as most likely they already know what helps and what doesn't). (That said, I'm probably guilty of still doing the same thing myself all to often!)

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    2. PS. I do appreciate our criss-cross correspondence as well :)

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  4. Thank YOU for being here, Monica! I highly value my friendships originating within blogland, too; some have made it into "offline" life as well, some have sadly seemingly dropped off the planet but with others, there is regular communication, such as with you.
    I know what you mean about not wanting suggestions and having to explain yourself all the time, however well intended.

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    1. Thanks Meike. Yes, I guess it's inevitable in Blogland as well as in the other dimensions of our lives that the degree or intensity of friendships vary, and also that some people "come and go". A few that have abandoned blogging I'm still in touch with on Facebook and/or via postcards.

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  5. I'm glad that I found your blog - I've found it interesting and informative and of course it's brought back many happy memories for me.
    I'm not a great one for joining in, so it was interesting to read your comments. I don't subscribe to social media sites such as Facebook, but I do follow and comment on a few blogs. Yours obviously, and most of the others are either "doggy" related (I'm a great dog lover) or by people who have, like myself, relocated to foreign shores. Interesting to see how they fare.

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    1. Thanks CG. As for Facebook, I originally intended to just use that for contact with Swedish friends - but that soon went 'awry' and came to include English-speaking friends as well. I keep a closed account there though (no public posts). But I find it useful for staying in touch with some people with whom I'd probably otherwise have lost contact by now.

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  6. I have the same thing happen when sitting in a chair for that long, at doctor office, If i have to wait, i get up every 10 minutes and wander and sit back down. that can't happen in a meeting like you were in. I think the reason we find it easeir to 'talk' on line is because we can back up and say it a better way. I don't have filters on my thoughts and they spew out . face to face they can't be unsaid, but on line, just delete and try again.... it was a nice outing and you did get to meat old friends and new.

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    1. Sandra, I'm used to shifting position a lot as well, even at home - and you're right, that usually doesn't work well in church context. One reason that services in the Church of Sweden actually work a bit better for me (even with their benches being very uncomfortable) is that they have a formal liturgy that includes standing up vs sitting down for different parts of the service...

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  7. That was some discomfort that you seem to have endured, and socially as well as physically at that! I'm happy going to a small church, which now has many new people since I've stayed sequestered during the pandemic. Fortunately the services are shared on YouTube so I can keep up with the talks, and some of my friends. I also enjoy my blogging friends, as well as finding new blogs every once in a while. Some of the older ones aren't here any more, and that causes an empty feeling of sadness. Yes typing sentences does give me the opportunity to change things, and I like that!

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    1. Thanks Barbara. Glad your church situation works for you, including the YouTube version.The pandemic has certainly been a challenge for the churches. But many also seem to have learned to make better use than before of the internet.

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